Butterflies part 16
by Kksaunt1
Summary: What did Jack need to talk to Elizabeth about?


When they woke up from their nap, Jack decided he just needed to tell her. "You wanted to hear about my assignment?"

"Sure, if you can tell me."

"I can't tell you specifics but it is a relatively calm posting. Kind of like Hope Valley. They don't have a Mountie right now, except for me. The first night I was there, I broke up a fight at the saloon. And unfortunately, I'm helping with something in town that will keep me there longer than you and I had planned."

"How much longer?"

"I don't know, but just until this particular situation is resolved. It may be a few weeks." She leaned her head on his chest and sighed.

"Well, I can't stay past the middle of next week."

"I know, and with you being so sick, I am going to ask Julie if she will travel with you, so you aren't alone." Elizabeth just laid there, silently. "Sweetheart? Are you angry?"

"Of course not. I just wish it was you going home with me. I understand why you can't and that you can't control what happens with your posting, I just wish it was you."

"Me too." He kissed her forehead and rubbed her arm with his fingertips.

"It gives me a little comfort that you said it was a relatively calm assignment." This time, Jack was silent. "There's something you can't tell me, isn't there?"

"Yes, it's Mountie business."

"I hate it when you say that." She sat up and tried to get out of bed, slowly so she wouldn't be dizzy. It didn't work. She almost fell to the ground.

"Elizabeth?" Jack hopped out of bed and went over to help her, but she didn't want his help. She was a little irritated with the "Mountie business" comment.

"I don't need you to help. I'm just headed to the washroom."

"Let me help you, please." He helped her put a robe on, and put his arm around her waist and walked her to the door. "Elizabeth, you know I can't tell you everything. We've been through this. I don't understand why you're angry."

"I really need to go."

Jack stood there, watching as she walked slowly down the hall to the washroom, holding on to the wall, and shut the door. He wanted to go after her but instead, he went back to their room and sat on the bed, waiting. When she finally came back in, he jumped up to help her but she wouldn't let him. "Jack, please I just need to lay down. I can make it to the bed on my own."

"Fine, but we need to talk. I don't understand why you are upset. Will you explain it to me please?"

Before she laid down, she said, "I really need some tea. My stomach is upset and that seems to help. I think I will go make some."

"Two things. First, you can barely make it down the hall, you really think I'm going to let you go down the stairs? I will make the tea. Second, when I get back I need you to tell me what's going on."

Jack got dressed and left the room and Elizabeth instantly felt bad that she was mad at him. She could blame pregnancy hormones but really it bothered her that he said he couldn't tell her about what was going on at work. And more than that, she wasn't sure why. She had always been aware that his job was not something he could share with her.

Jack walked back in with a cup of tea for her and some crackers.

"Jack, thank you." She looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"Anything for you, Honey. Please let me be there for you."

She took the cup and the crackers, set them on the side table and put her arms around Jack's waist, pulling him close. "I'm so sorry."

"Me too. The last thing I want is for you to be upset."

She took his hand and pulled him to the bed. "When I married you, I knew that your job was something I couldn't be a part of. I am ok with that normally, but for some reason, when you said "Its Mountie business", it felt like a dismissal. Like I wasn't important enough to know. It felt, for the first time, like you have a whole other life that doesn't include me."

"I'm so sorry that it felt that way. I certainly would never dismiss your feelings intentionally. You matter so much to me. I wish I could share more, but it's to protect you and now our baby. If someone found out that I told you anything, or even suspected, you could be is so much danger. And if something happened to you or our baby, I couldn't handle it." He pulled her close, kissing her face and then her lips. With tears rolling down his cheeks, he whispered, "I couldn't."

"You don't have to worry, Jack. We, the baby and I, are going to be fine."

"I don't want to leave you again. I feel so helpless when I'm away, and I don't know how you are, or if you're safe."

"That's how I feel when you're gone too. This tremendous worry takes over sometimes. It's not easy."

"No, its not."

"I have an idea. Why don't we go downstairs to the study and build a fire?"

Elizabeth put a robe on, grabbed her tea and crackers and Jack helped her slowly down the stairs and to the study. "Are you ok?"

"Yes, of course. Just tired. My stomach feels better right now."

Jack built a nice warm fire and joined his wife on the couch. "This is nice." He looked at her with that look that told her volumes. She giggled, and scooted closer to him, weaving her fingers together with his.

"What's so funny? You've done that before."

"Done what?" she said innocently.

"I've kissed you or just looked at you, and you laugh."

"Butterflies."

"What? What do you mean?"

"Ever since the beginning, after we first met, you make my stomach flutter. It feels like butterflies, kind of tickles a little. The first time it happened, was when you called me Bella and you stared at me, that way you do. The feeling has changed over time, becoming and meaning more, but it still makes me smile."

They sat by the fire for awhile and then decided to make the most of their last night together and went upstairs. The next morning at breakfast, they decided to tell the family together.

"William, Grace, Julie. Elizabeth and I want to thank you for your support and love you've shown us.

We also wanted to tell you…" He looked over at Elizabeth.

"We are going to have a baby!"

"I knew it! I am so happy for you both," Julie exclaimed.

William came over, hugged his Beth, and shook Jack's hand. "Congratulations, both of you."

"To you too, Father and Mother, thank you for everything."

" I guess we will be making a lot more trips to Hope Valley."

"Julie, would you be willing to travel with Elizabeth home? Since she is so sick, I would feel better if she had someone there since I can't be."

"Of course I will, brother dear. I will take care of her."

"Thank you." He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Well, I wish I could stay longer, but I need to get back to my post. Elizabeth, will you help me get ready?"

"Sure." He put his arm around her waist and helped her up the stairs to their room. "What did you need help with?"

"Nothing, I just didn't want to say goodbye in front of everyone."

"I don't like those words."

"Me either." He stepped close to her, looking at her, like he was memorizing her face. Running his fingers over her cheeks and her jaw, then her lips. "Just when I thought I couldn't possibly love you any more, somehow I do."

Elizabeth looked up at him, smiling. "Butterflies." She wrapped her arms around his waist, her hands on his back, pulling him even closer, kissing him as if it meant forever. Enjoying the smell of his aftershave. Loving him and missing him already. Not wanting to break apart.

"I love you, Sweetheart, but I have to go. Please try to eat more and get a lot of rest. I'm worried about you."

"Please try not to worry, sweetie. I will try to eat more. I love you too." Jack then picked up his bag and left the room.

Julie and Elizabeth left four days later for Hope Valley. The compartment was much appreciated since Elizabeth was still feeling sick. She tried to eat more like Jack told her but the dizziness and nausea were still there. Julie helped with everything from getting food and tea to helping Elizabeth to the washroom. The stagecoach ride was ten times worse on Elizabeth. The constant bumping and jostling took its toll. When they finally pulled into Hope Valley, both women uttered a sigh of relief. Elizabeth vowed not to make another long trip until after the baby was born.

Abigail and Frank met the stage. William and Grace had sent a telegram alerting them of the women's arrival and that Elizabeth might need help getting to her home. "Elizabeth, Julie! Welcome home!"

"Thank you," Julie said as she stepped down out of the stage. Elizabeth appeared in the doorway, but couldn't get down.

"Frank, help her, please," Abigail pleaded. Frank immediately lifted Elizabeth down and kept his arm around her, making sure she didn't fall. "Let's get you inside and to bed."

"Thank you so much, Frank. That sounds great."

Once Elizabeth was settled in bed upstairs at Abigail's, Julie and Abigail went downstairs to talk and Frank went to the church.

"Julie. I'm concerned. How long has she been like this? She's pale and exhausted. The dizziness seems really bad."

"Yes, it is bad. She has been like this pretty much for the last two weeks. Tea seems to settle her stomach and she tries to eat, but it doesn't always stay down."

"I think I'm going to go get Faith. Maybe she can help her."

Faith came over and examined Elizabeth. "Elizabeth, I have some concerns. Your dizziness and weight loss for starters. I think you are dizzy because you may be dehydrated due to the vomiting. Drinking tea to settle the stomach is good, but also try to drink water as well and eat whatever you can tolerate after your stomach is settled. You can't lose anymore weight, or you might lose the baby too."

"Abigail! Please…you have to help me. I can't lose Jack's baby. I can't!" The look of panic on her face and the tears in her eyes, moved Abigail. Her dearest friend was extremely upset and it wasn't good for her or the baby. She had to do something.

"Shhh. It's going to be ok. We aren't going to let that happen, Elizabeth! I will help you anyway I can." Abigail sat down next to Elizabeth on the bed, holding her, rubbing her back, trying to calm her. "Its not good for you to be so upset. Faith, maybe you should go."

"I'm sorry, Elizabeth. I just needed you to realize how important it is to eat and stay hydrated and rest. I'm sorry that I upset you. Abigail and I, and your sister are going to help you." Then Faith walked out.

Julie walked in with a tray of tea and biscuits Abigail had just made. They were hot and buttery and smelled wonderful, even to Elizabeth. "Elizabeth, do you want to try some of Abigail's hot biscuits? They smell divine."

"Yes, please." She sat up against the headboard, dried her tears, and reached for the tray. "Oh my, Abigail. I have been missing your biscuits." She bit into one, savoring the buttery flavor and the warmth. Somehow, that reminded her of Jack, so she giggled and blushed.

"What is it Elizabeth? You must be thinking of Jack." Julie hit the nail on the head, as usual and wasn't shy about saying what she thought.

"I don't know, for some reason the warmth of these biscuits remind me of him."

"You must miss him."

"Very much. Would you mind, Julie, checking at the mercantile for any telegrams or letters? I haven't heard from him since he left."

"Of course. I will go over there right now." She got up and walked out the door.

"Abigail, thank you."

"For what?"

"Everything. For calming me down and taking care of me, letting me stay here."

"I've told you before, you are my dearest friend. I would do anything to help you. Now, please drink some of this water before you go to sleep. Faith said to keep you drinking as often as possible."

"Yes, ma'am," she said with a smile. She drank the glass of water and handed the tray to Abigail.

"Have a good rest, Elizabeth."

She did. She dreamed about Jack and their new house and the baby. Everything was just as it should be. About two hours later, Elizabeth woke up. She looked around and remembered where she was. At least she was home, but she wished Jack was there with her.

"Are you awake, sister?"

"Yes, Julie. Would you help me to the outhouse please? I don't think I can do the stairs on my own."

"Of course." When they returned to the parlor at Abigail's, Elizabeth decided she wanted to curl up on the couch. She grabbed a blanket and settled in. She smiled, again thinking of her handsome husband, as the couch held some good memories.

"Elizabeth, you're blushing again. Thinking of my dear brother in law again?"

"Well, yes. I'm always thinking of him. Certain things remind me how amazing he is and how lucky I am."

"What was it this time?"

"I'd rather not say," Elizabeth said, looking a bit embarrassed.

"Come on, sister. What's wrong with a little sisterly talk?"

"Well, fine. One of our favorite things to do together is curl up on a couch in front of a fire. This particular couch though, was where we had one of our first kisses after we said we loved each other. He was so cute, trying to take care of me after our little mine excursion to find Rip. We were both so shy, because we had finally acknowledged how we felt. He came and put a blanket over me and started rubbing my arm. I told him I didn't feel like resting and he said, "That's because you're still talking." I told him that we didn't have to talk, hoping he would kiss me again. I think I surprised him by being so forward, but he took the hint. It was wonderful."

"I hope I have that someday. That feeling of love and belonging to someone."

"You will, I promise."

"How do you know, Elizabeth? What if I'm meant to be alone?"

"I don't believe that for a second. Just let it happen. I didn't go looking for Jack. He just showed up, with a little help from Father. I will be eternally grateful to him for sending Jack out here."

"I'm not good at being patient, but I will try. Let me get you some more water and biscuits."

"Actually can you see if Abigail has any soup?"

"Sure. You must be feeling ok right now."

"Yes, and I thought I would take advantage of it."

The next morning, Ned delivered a telegram and a letter from Jack. "I thought she would want to see these." He gave them to Abigail and left. Elizabeth was sitting on the couch writing in her journal when she heard Ned at the door.

"What a relief, Abigail." She opened the telegram and read it.

TO: ELIZABETH THORNTON

FROM: JACK THORNTON

SHOULD BE FINISHED WITH POSTING SOON. HOPE TO HEAD HOME IN TWO DAYS. SHOULD SEE YOU BY THE BEGINNING OF NEXT WEEK

SEE YOU SOON, LETTER TO FOLLOW

JACK

Next she opened the letter.

Sweetheart,

I am sitting here at my desk in my office, wishing I was with you. It's been a rough week at my post and sometimes I find myself questioning my choice of employment. I hope this is the last time I will have to be away for a very long time. I hope you are doing better and able to rest and eat more.

I will see you soon and finally be able to wrap you in my arms and keep you safe.

Take care of Baby Thornton.

Love you,

Your extremely cute husband

She giggled at the last line of his letter and reread it again before she put it back in the envelope. He sounded a little discouraged about his job. She knew he probably couldn't tell her about it but she wondered what happened. He had always loved his job, so to see him write that he questioned it was different.

For the next few days, Elizabeth was able to eat more and wasn't as dizzy. She could come down the stairs without help and eat dinner at the table. Her strength was returning so she planned on teaching half days starting the following week. Florence had been filling in and gladly agreed to relinquish the classroom back to Elizabeth. Elizabeth moved back to her and Jack's house on Sunday.

On Monday morning, Elizabeth almost felt normal. She drank tea and ate breakfast and left for the school. On her walk to school, she came across Emily on the road. She was walking with her head down, crying. "Emily? What's wrong Sweetheart?"

"Miss That…I mean Mrs. Thornton. I missed you so much. Are you feeling better? Momma said you were sick."

"I'm doing much better, thank you. Why were you crying?"

"I'm just having a bad day. Gabe was mean to me this morning and our dog ran away. I really didn't want to come to school because I'm scared of Mrs. Blakely, but now that you are back, I want to go."

Elizabeth stifled a laugh and just hugged Emily. "Let's walk the rest of the way together." She held out her hand and Emily grabbed it willingly.

The day went smoothly. School was dismissed at noon instead of three o'clock, so that Elizabeth didn't get too tired. Elizabeth started erasing the lesson off the blackboard when she heard footsteps behind her.

"Did you miss me, Sweetheart?" He stood there, grinning.

"Jack?! Oh my goodness, I'm glad you're home. I missed you so much."

He held out his arms to her and she gladly ran right into them. "You feel so good. I've missed holding you." He leaned down and captured her lips with his. "I missed that too."

"How are you, Jack?"

"Fine, now that I'm home."

"You sounded discouraged or something in your letter. Maybe that's not the right word. All I know is, you had a different tone to your words."

"It doesn't matter. All three of us are safe now."

"Right." He was acting funny, but he probably couldn't tell her what was bothering him anyway if it had to do with his job.

"Its good to see you up and feeling better."

"I agree. That was very difficult. Now, I am not dizzy as long as I drink enough water and as long as I eat every few hours, I don't get too nauseated. That reminds me, I should eat something soon."

"Let's go get food from Abigail's and go home."

They passed the infirmary on their way to Abigail's. As they were walking by, Faith came out the door.

"Elizabeth, Jack!"

"Hi Faith. How are you?" Jack asked.

"I'm fine, welcome home. How are you feeling, Elizabeth?"

"Much better, thank you."

"I'm so glad. Listen, I just wanted to apologize…"

"No need. Everything is just fine," Elizabeth interrupted. "We are going to get some food and head home. It was nice to see you, Faith."

"Elizabeth? What was that about?"

"Nothing. It doesn't matter."

"Elizabeth. What was Faith apologizing for and why don't you want me to know about it?"

She didn't want to tell Jack, because if he found out what happened, he would overreact and want her to stop teaching. That was the last thing she wanted. If she could get him to forget about it, or at least put off telling him, maybe she could think of a way to downplay what happened. "Let's talk about it later."


End file.
